Treat 'em mean....
I haven't seen him for a couple of months, busy with work and getting nothing done and all, so finally I make the call and we hook up for coffee.
Catching up, getting the news and such.
He's been taking an "online dating course" by so-and-so, and one of the things he's learned is that you shouldn't be too keen, don't give a girl the impression that she's all that. Say something like "Yeah, you're all right, but who does your hair? The Gardener?". He laughs, he thinks it's funny.
I ask him if he's been on any dates, this is irrelevant, he gets up to get some more coffee....
...And starts talking with some girls at the bar, also ordering coffee, and I'm worried, no, certain now that he's showing off his new dating tricks, he's the pick-up artist from hell, and I slouch in my chair, coffee with crazy. I should really dress better, then people might at least think that I'm his social worker or something....
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- Category: Conversations
the time the nephew won the lottery
"...it was the first time I ever played..." he's telling me of the first time he ever won the lottery.
"....and I'm checking the numbers, and I have the first number, the second number, the third number, and the prize is I don't know, forty million Euros..."
This story is set in Italy, the Italian equivalent of the lotto-6-49 here, only I gather from the numbers he's throwing out and the size of the prize there's more to choose from ....
"...So I call into work, I tell them, I'm sorry, I won the lottery, I won't be coming into work tomorrow, I think, you know, that I have half the numbers, I won half the prize, I'm worth twenty million Euros...."
Now I'm laughing. He's not pulling my leg, he's not making this up, if anyone would make this mistake it would have to be him....
"...Then I call my father, and I tell him, I think I won the lottery, and he leaves work to come home right away to check my ticket, he's driving 200 KM an hour, and when he gets home and sees my ticket he tells me I'm a fucking idiot.....But I didn't know, I never play before, and now I have to call my job and tell them I was joking....I won, but only like 20 Euros...."
Now he's an addicted gambler, never passing by a casino or VLT, and homes he's online playing poker.
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- Category: Conversations
Black and Gold Orb Spider
I'm shoving my way through a brightly lit, cluttered attic. There's a hole in the floor where the light fixture used to be, a couple of big bodied orb spiders have taken up residence there, black and gold, shiny gold, the black markings a silhouette of a recent adaptation - a horse and buggy, perfect outline of a horse and buggy that went by the house outside near the church.
Peculiar, this evolution, this too quick adaptation to an environment they haven't even seen....
I go to plug the hole with a little jadeite bowl, these spiders are rare, one of a kind, and the bowl falls through the hole to the floor below taking the spiders with them, they're crushed and now they're extinct....
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- Category: Dreams
Meaning Of Robots
I haven't seen it, and chances are I won't be able to take the boy, but this is on my list of films to see in 2012.
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- Category: WTF
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