Habanero Flavored Personal Lubricant
Another recent inspiration, Habanero Flavored Personal Lubricant. Marketed with such phrases as "Some Like it Hot" and "Put the Spice back into Your Sex Life" and "Spice it Up". Discreetly packaged in squirt bottles so it can be sold in supermarkets and drugstores, alongside the cherry and other flavored lubricants, with perhaps flames and habanero peppers on the label, which would attract potential customers because, really, everyone likes to feel like their being a little naughty and going to hell when they have sex. And with my Habanero Flavored Personal Lubricant, those feelings will not just be psychological...
I'm thinking there will be a pretty big market for this, but I'm not really into cooking up sexual lubricants in my kitchen (although if I were I'd be sure to write "small batch" on the label, because then I could charge higher prices for it). But if you work for a company that manufactures similar things and stumble across this post, feel free to use my idea, we'll work out the royalties later.
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- Category: Creative
Having Lost My Skeleton...
I'm living in a basement suite, some female roomates, but I have a suite of my own. Upstairs live the landlady and her husband.
It's evening, and I'm putting my skeleton back in my body, I'd set it out in the yard to bleach a bit and get some air, I've forgotten why exactly...
...and I've dressed myself in my legs and hips and return to insert the ribs and vertebrae only to discover their missing...
I quiz my roommates, the girls, they don't know what happened to it...I'm beginning to get a little panicked, I need my skeleton, upstairs, asking the landlady, finally her husband comes home and I'm asking him about it and he gruffly replies that he's thrown it out...I'm upset, I need it, for support and to make blood cells, and I'm demanding the girls in the basement look for it, threatening them that if I have to go to the hospital and get another one it'll probably be that of a serial killer or some such, and we all know how that works out...
They're curiously incompetent and unhelpful...
It's sunset, a beautiful evening in the back yard, the skeleton is gone from the trash, of course, who's going to leave a perfectly good skeleton for the trash? And I'm panicking, starting to lose my shape, I look in the mirror and my face is blotchy, red vivid blotches, and I have to get to the hospital right away or I'll be dead soon, and that's unacceptable, I need to make my farewells first, annoyed that I took it out and put it in the yard to air, annoyed at the landlord for throwing it away, and trying to get him to give me a ride to the hospital right away...
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- Category: Dreams
The Leg & The Locker
It's been a week and the leg is finally starting to mend. Or I've gotten smarter about it, and have started on the cautionary tylenol first thing in the morning. By Wednesday it had swollen so that it looked as if I had two knees, the pain, however, was subsiding, and I found with it replaced with a host of other, more trifling, complaints, sore shoulder, neck, burn marks on my temples from the tDCS, the other leg. The leg is walk-able, I'm able to flex it without any stabbing pains, just a generalized soreness, even lying down. It'll be my trick knee, and I'll use it to predict the weather when the kids come 'round, every cloud has a silver lining...
Meanwhile, have begun to empty the locker, so much rubbish...cameras, tripods, bean-pots, listing it off on Kijiji and selling it, I'm amazed always by what sells (and what doesn't). 20 items listed, 4 sold so far, another hundred or so to list, it becomes it's own full time job. If they don't sell on Kijiji move them onto eBay, a bigger market guarantees sales (although not price, though there are surprises here as well). Photograph, touch up, writing ads...it's almost more work than it's worth. Almost...
...but it's lightening my heart.
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- Category: Miscellany
Bachelor Mop
Sharing my latest invention, patent-pending: "The Bachelor Mop". Retail should be around $9.99 and doesn't include foot or old t-shirt.
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- Category: Creative
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