Sinking Ship
Meanwhile, the ship is sinking faster and faster. Bills come in and the owner begins ranting and screaming, he's being robbed, fucked, everyone is out to get him.
He's not far wrong. Business - compared to the countless restaurants that have gone under - has been "good" - but we're down, down a lot, we have lunches with a single deuce, we're all expected to hang around and serve them, rarely do we get sent home...we're on salary, after all, and if we're not there the 100 hours every 2 weeks we can't really be said to be working. We've been running in the red for a few months now, even with no rent, this economy, it's tearing every business apart, we hear it from all of our suppliers.
Today is payday, another "Bill" for him, he's screaming, I understand - not the reaction, it's inexcusable, but he's paying us now, a lot of the bills, out of his savings, his investments, his own pocket, there's no profit in the restaurant to be paying us, it's no longer a sustainable business...
8 Days until Summer Vacation. 8 More days of working.
Beautiful summer days, he sets up a folding table and a couple of chairs in the parking lot, watches the birds, plays solitaire on his iPad...
...and like a lighthouse, a beacon this makeshift patio attracts guests. An appalling lover, who visits him every day, lobbies him to give more money to his 40 year old raving alcoholic daughter....and she takes a free cappucino. She's there every day. This is followed by his girlfriend, and her friend, a couple of free glasses of wine quickly turn into a couple of free bottles...and the plumber drops by for a few free double's of Sailor Jerry, and J***, who's son killed himself a couple of months ago, and he starts with a few glasses of juice and mineral water, helps himself to brushetta platters for the table, comes in to talk to the salad girl, orders a large platter of Antipasto, free, of course...and the dread D****, 40 year old alcoholic whore, still posting hot swimsuit photos of herself on Facebook from when she was twenty with captions like "Eat Your Hearts Out Boys", she starts with a couple of glasses of wine, "On my bill" she tells me, never expecting the bill, J*** looks at me and tells me not to charge her..., not "Put it on my bill", merely don't charge her...
..The Owner, the bills, they're killing him, and now the scavengers...scarcely a day goes by when they don't come around, they pay for nothing, act like royalty, and the owner, he's had it, and we, the staff, are bearing the brunt of his wrath...
J***, he's in every day some weeks, for a free glass of wine, sparkling water, salad, meal, espresso, yet he considers himself a great customer because once a month he comes in and spends a couple of hundred bucks. Never mind that he's consumes freely and without charge a thousand dollars before ever spending a dime. And he lords it over the staff, walking into the dining room to find the waiters and order glasses of free wine for the new arrivals on the patio, ...
It's a circus. These people, they have no clue.
***
The Girlfriend and The Birthday Party
I wasn't there, but I've hear the stories, they are legend. About how the owner celebrated his birthday party, a significant one, working in the restaurant, cooking, supposed to be a slow night...but his girlfriend had other plans....
...she sent out emails, organized a surprise birthday party, 20 unreserved, unannounced tables, all at once, the Bosses Nephew was working, he's still scarred, his children, "Favorite Customers", meaning those who pay for a little and expect a lot for free, they all show up and drink and order lavish items like lamb and halibut and veal because, after all, it's a birthday and they've been invited...
...The owner, he's flipping out in the kitchen, he wasn't prepared for this...not a pleasant birthday surprise at all...
Then, when all the shit is over and he's done his cooking and can come into the dining room there's the slight matter of the bills...of course, the girlfriend isn't going to pay, she thought the owner would be comfortable giving a few thousand dollars worth of food and wine away for free on his birthday...and the owner, well, if you've been reading this blog, you know, this is not gonna happen. Gullible, stupid, but there's gotta be a line...
...and the guests, wealthy, every one of them, uncomfortable at the prospect of paying for their own excesses, slipping out the back door, hasty and furtive departures....
Oh, classy, the rich people of Calgary, let me tell you...and his girlfriend - wow. You'd rather straight up fuck herpes. But in this little history of the Surprise Birthday Party find a parable of Corporate Alberta....The people, the companies, are the same ...
***
This ship, it's sinking, it's about time, it's overdue. If the NDP and low oil prices have one good effect it'll be the closing of this Asylum. Making it to vacation, at most a month beyond, the waters up to my chin and I'm treading water when I should be swimming away from it, enough is enough, I have to try but I'm not convinced I can. We'll see.
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Cleaning...
And cleaning now, cutting a swath through the dust and grime, the bathroom, wafts of urea drifting into the kitchen, it's been needing a cleaning for a while.
A couple of months at least...
And so I do it, buy some new light bulbs, it's bright now, and the brightness illuminates the fantastic job I've done, dig out a new toothbrush, a mere 20 minutes worth of work, close the door and set about clearing a spot for the vacuum, there's still a lot of stuff to be sold off, my pack needs to be lightened, the time draws ever nearer...
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The Complainers
It wasn't the last of them, they continued to be as regular as ever. By which I'm referring to P & C (follow embedded link).
It was C's 50th birthday and P wanted to arrange a big surprise. He bargained with the owner, got a 4 course set menu for $35.00 per person. This is unbelievable. I've not been to a fine restaurant where you could get even one course for that, they're getting 4, but they're friends of the owners...And being as all their friends are the freeloading scourges of the restaurant we were not looking forward to it...
The night, darkly anticipated and dreaded for months before, finally arrives. We pull out all stops, bring in all the part-timers. I can't deal with them, I'll handle the "regular" customers on the other side of the restaurant.
The night goes. Late. Their final bill, $4400.00 for 58 people. They're all hammered, loaded, 6 hours straight drinking, no brakes at all these folk, P thanks us, tips 15%, they leave in the nether hours after midnight...all hammered, soused to the gills, their friends, my age, alcoholics every one...
3 weeks later P texts the owner, wants to talk in private, he feels that he's been charged too much. The wine, they could have bought it at the liquor store for $20.00 per bottle, the guests, they drank too much...
A*****, thankfully he was on to them, he told P every bottle of wine opened, got approval, the PPA (Per person average) worked out to $74.00 per person, cheap, free by fine dining standards, it's fucking unbelievable, but he meets with the owner to complain, and the owner finally loses it, tells him that he's offended, he gave him a deal (he did, a hell of a deal, I'd be thrilled to get that deal any day of the week), and yet still they complain, never cheap enough, never free enough, never enough, they're the narcissists, and finally he leaves and we're relieved, this little disagreement means we won't be seeing them for a while, the worst of our customers (and it's a tough competition), still, another 100 or so to go...
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