A short joke about Bill Gates
It's not really about Bill Gates, I've heard it about others before, but it's possessed of a certain dark humour that I rather appreciate and so I'll repeat it here...
Bill Gates is in the airport and is recognized by an old classmate of his...introducing himself: "Bill, don't you remember...it's me, Bob, I was a year behind you...we had the same math teacher..." and poor Bill, he doesn't remember either him or any of the stories he's telling but he doesn't want to appear rude...
Bob continues..."Say, Bill, I'm going on vacation with this girl, just been dating her a bit, and you know, wouldn't it be swell if you came up and said hi when we're talking? I mean, you've done well and all and she'd be impressed..." and Bill, ever the sport, agrees, and Bob goes back to his guest.
After a short amount of time Bill approaches the couple, they're deep in conversation, Bill waits a moment and then interrupts..."Bob? Bob? Is that you? I can hardly believe it..." to which Bob turns and curtly responds "Fuck off Bill! Can't you see I'm talking to someone?"
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3 New Servers
And in my absence, covering my departure, a variety of new servers. One younger, pretty, the nephew hired her hoping to throw a leg over but she's resisted him so far, perhaps her undoing, she's not a good server and without his patronage she'll probably get let go. The other 2, both older, my age-ish, one, a pleasant English lady with a substantial edge, not really fine dining, but a good worker - when she comes in, she's had a variety of issues, emergencies, family, personal, in just the first three weeks I was back she missed 5 shifts, last minute call-ins, there's something up, a junkie or an off-the rails alcoholic, the owner, he's begun to hate her, no one is sick there, no one, ever, and she's pulled off 6 days already in the busiest season of the year...and she breaks things, lots of things, glasses, plates, it gets worse as the day wears on, she needs to feed the demon...walking into the dining room with a couple of desserts, she stumbles, they fly onto the carpet, "Just put some more whipping cream on, they'll never know..." I yell loudly, the customers laugh nervously...
...and finally there's T***. T*** Baloney, career waiter around Calgary and the neighboring mountain villages, he knows everyone, maybe only a single degree of separation from any of our customers, he and the new waitress, they recall the golden days of serving in Calgary together, many a shared acquaintance or friend. But there's something up there as well, his hair, long, grey, slicked back to reveal a pronounced widows peak, blue eyes, goatee, he looks for all the world like a bad hypnotist in a worse nightclub, he's always asking about tips, the tip outs, this isn't going to wash, while I'm happy to divide things equally the nephew won't be so easygoing, I know. And he's a talker, no sooner than he discovers the degree of separation from the customer than he stands there conversing for an hour about his experiences at this restaurant or the other, prides himself on almost being a sommelier and when customers ask about a wine he goes into long discourses about "fruit forward or tanning forward? what year were you thinking?..."and a simple question becomes an opportunity to showcase his knowledge and one-up the customer.
Neither of them will last, but it's not my problem. A slower night, the nephew's taken a couple of extra days off while his uncle is on vacation, when he's back I try to grab the early departure, started at 10:00 AM, it's 9:00 PM now, maybe I can go..."NO way buddy, in a week you'll be gone and I'll get no days off...". He's hunched over his cellphone, reading the internet, facebook, texting, both similar and the complete opposite of Rodin's "The Thinker", Calgary's own equivalent, "The Idiot". So I suggest letting the others go, we've only a single table after all, and he dismisses this as well, we're all on the same salary, we can all hang out bored together...
He's made his bed...
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Mars et Avril
Canadian made, can't believe I never heard of it, gorgeous effects and some interesting styles, overall, though, it get's lost in pretension and becomes silly. No worse for that than many a bigger budget Hollywood film, and I'd sooner take a chance with this over the big budget films any day of the week...
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0940wODWy4c
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David Brent - Life on the Road
Exactly what you'd expect, more social awkwardness and faux-pas and surreal snippets of everyday life. David Brent Chasing the dream. The non-sequitur to "The Office" - but not, it's only David Brent, after all, more of a television special than a movie but if you liked "The Office" you'll like this. 3.2 Bananas.
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