Yeah, it would have been a lot better done by the sides of Kootenay Lake, with a bit of make-up and some false (or real even!) teeth, a piece of kleenex to wipe my nose and a bit of duct-tape surgery to hold up the saggy bits on my jowls and face. But this Vlogging, it could catch on...
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Passing through town on Errands, I run into Batshit. He's flush, and tries to take me for a coffee...
"Where'd you get the money?" I ask, and he explains that he drew up a bunch of maps that showed you how to sneak into Shambala and sold them to a group of French Canadian backpackers...$5.00 apiece, and now, he hates to cut his coffee short, but he has to dash down to Salmo to see just how this is working out for them...
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They stopped when I told him off, which was fine, they were getting to be a bit much, a lot of unwrapping of rubbish and treasure maps and rocks and chewed up gum and twine, shoelaces, a hundred rubber bands, used coffee cups and bits of kleenex...unwrap, take to garbage.Â
Possibly I could monetize them, make "Unboxing Batshit" videos on YouTube, share my general distaste and horror, the "art" aspect of them has generally disappeared, I was a little too close to him, he stopped trying:
For example, the last package:
A sculpture he made with kleenex, rock, candlewax and rubber bands.
Old vitamins and bits of food in a can...
an annotated page from "Franklin".
A note and reference to a treasure map...
The most sensible piece so far. And a piece of bubblegum holding it all together.
A food hamper of partially eaten cakes topped with hand picked flowers and a soggy cigarette. "Monroe Gold and Rouge". Uh-huh.
4 gems from a pirate ship. One appears to be a ball bearing.
Another sculpture with glass gems, readable scrolls, and a "Knights of the Emeralds" VHS tape.
more childrens books and errant notes fueling his deranged imagination...
The best one so far, a rant for my daughter..."Save this" I tell her: "One day it will be worth a fortune".
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He dropped by the restaurant, the standard barter-for-coffee, brought me a little Xmas hamper of sorts:
A festively arranged take-out container filled with a half-eaten piece of cheesecake, a nibbled on piece of smoked gouda, an xmas bulb, 2 headless rubber gingerbread men, a piece of Xmas red felt, and a cigarette in a pack of matches. A perfectly made up Stormy Xmas Hamper...
...I ate every last bit. Things here are pretty lean...
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