"I know what you're thinking" I say to them, and then nod knowingly.
Now sometimes I do and sometimes I don't but the trick is not to say anything after that to give it away, just nod and smile slightly and catch their eye. And they'll think that maybe you DO know what they're thinking...
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This Jedi Mind Trick will enamour you to your date, as it will literally halve the amount she spends on drinks for you.
And it's ridiculously simple.
All you do is when you order your favorite diet soda at a restaurant (Fresca's good, but there are others..) hold up 2 fingers. Like Winston is doing. Say "I'd like 1 Fresca please", and the combination of the 2 fingers and words "One Fresca" usually result in the server bringing you 2 Frescas. At this point it's good to offer one to your date.
Image: Winston Churchill ordering 1 diet soft drink.
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7/11 – The first Jedi Mind Trick didn’t work and your going to put your stuff back on the shelf but the clerks won’t let you because maybe you were hungry and the line to pay was so long that you ate the chips while you were waiting and maybe the chips made you thirsty so you drank the drink as well and they keep insisting that you pay so you go to leave and maybe one of them tries to stop you which wouldn’t be a problem for a Jedi like yourself except that there happened to be Stormtroopers parked outside and they came in to help.
What I do in this situation is look down and to the left and start to count things out loud.
No matter what they say to you just keep counting.
Eventually the Stormtroopers will take you outside because you’re making a bit of a scene and it’s OK to resist a bit, like you don’t understand, but don’t resist too much or you might get shot. Don’t reach for your lightsaber because they’ll use their tasers on you. Once they’ve got you outside they’ll probably start asking you all sorts of questions and it’s good to mess with them a bit by continuing to count, maybe to a thousand or so. Then they’ll ask you if you can pay for the chips and you should probably pull out your American Express card – the one that says “Your Name Here”, and if you’re done counting then you can explain to them how you already paid. DO NOT make eye-contact with them, they’re like Gorillas and take it as a sign of aggression. Then they might ask you for ID or a drivers license and I just tell them you don’t need a drivers license to drive a landspeeder, this usually makes them laugh. Once they laugh you’re probably OK. Maybe they’ll drive you around the block a few times and try to take you to your house but if you’re smart you don’t want them to know where you live so you can just answer them with things like “These are not the droids you’re looking for” and eventually they’ll get hungry or get a better call and they’ll just drop you off. ’Course you can’t go back into that store again for probably 2 or three months or until they’ve got different staff…
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This is a trick that's sure to impress any date or job interview you happen to show up late for.
What I do is tell them that I've been followed.
This makes them curious, but I don't tell them anything. It's better to keep them curious, helps to build an air of mystery about you.
If you're meeting in a 7/11 check around the condiments at the hot dog stand to make sure there aren't any bugging devices. That way they know you're telling the truth. If you're at a job interview that your mother set up for you then just nod knowingly at whatever the interviewer says. Don't try to blame it on anyone or they might think you're crazy, just let them think that maybe there are things that you can't talk about. Often they'll start to think that maybe the same people that are following them are following you, which makes it good that you didn't tell them who was following you in case it wasn't the same group of people that was following them. Them thinking that you're being followed by the same people that are following them is good, because it gives you something in common and makes them more likely to give you a job.
And once you have the job, they'll be sure to understand when you're late that it was because you were being followed.
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