The restaurant as an unending maze filled with strangers
Now this is probably a result of my greed in naps on a selfish day off, a lengthy nap, followed by a refusal to go and seek dinner or do anything remotely productive during the dinner traffic rush, another nap, and hence somewhat bizarre dreams....
I'm in the restaurant, not mine but mine, it's an unending labyrinth, hundreds of rooms and passages, I can't seem to find my way.
I don't care, I'm taking a swig of rum from a bottle I've placed above the till. I have no prejudice against drinking, it's my bottle, I brought it from home....
There's a fellow I recognize, he's holding a beer and he hand's me a cheque, the IT guy I'm guessing, and I offer him another beer. I search for a service bar and find one in another room, with a fenced off area for the customers like a hockey arena floored with sawdust and these giant busts of clowns (???) or demons that recall Mardi Gras...
I need to ring it in before I can get it, they tell me he's with this group of nerds on such-and-such table and I can see them, but now I must find them on the map of the restaurant on the till and it's like this vast D&D map, I have to enter the front door of the restaurant (on the POS till) and then navigate the countless passages and rooms to find the floor plan for the room I'm in now....
I'm lost, these people I'm working with, they're all strangers, this restaurant I don't know, the IT guy I know but he's disappeared, I want to find my way back to the original room where this all started, where I have tables and my comforting bottle of rum poised above the till....
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- Category: Dreams
The Rum Diaries
I like Johnny Depp. That said, this was a highly missable exploration of one of Hunter S Thompson's more forgettable works.
Now I know that Johnny Depp was buddies with Hunter S, and even went so far as to fire his cremated remains from a cannon, but there's something about a 47 year old Depp (in fine condition, to be sure) portraying a 23 year old Hunter S that doesn't wash.
The film, long, less a film as a whole than a series of somewhat (more or less) amusing incidents from his stint as a journalist in Puerto Rico.
The cinematography is good, the landscape beautiful, lush, the boy enjoyed it, I could have done entirely without.
That said, I like Johnny Depp, and this was probably by far his most normal role in a very long time. Still, give it a miss.
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- Category: Film
3 French Phrases
I've been instructing the boy on the value of memorizing quotes. I assign him 10 or 20 quotes to have memorized, and without fail he hasn't memorized a single one.
So I'm trying to make it a little more interesting by sprinkling them into conversation, this week it's French Phrases.
"Entre Chien et Loupe"
Meaning literally between a tame thing (dog) and a very wild thing (wolf). While I'm sure it could be used any number of ways the example I remember was early evening - between the civilized decorum of the day and the rather wilder evening.
"Je ne sais quoi"
To describe something as having a certain "I don't know", used frequently by salespeople to sell one on an outlandish fashion. Generally it has a positive connotation, but not necessarily, for example if a girlfriend shows you her new hand-made macrame sweater, you could say that it had a certain "Je ne sais quoi" - a generally tactful way of not saying anything at all.
"Belle Laide"
Literally, "Beautiful Ugly". To describe a woman who, while not conventionally attractive or beautiful, nevertheless has a certain something....
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- Category: Miscellany
Male Cosmetics
They're regulars, after a fashion, she a cougar, fifty something but according to reviews still highly desirable, he a youthful sixty, occasionally a couple, we're never quite sure...
They tip well.
And today, she, despite her six figure alimony, has something to sell.
She begins by accosting all the waiters and the owner, rubbing some lotion into the bags around their eyes.
I try to stay clear, but sooner or later I'm going to have to approach them, and when I do....
She's got a little spiel, this product will reduce bags under the eyes, the appearance of aging, it has been featured on this and that television show...and the Oscars....
She's very excited about it. Whatever it is, she doesn't need the money, she's got her six figure alimony, this is some sort of bizarre form of female self actualization.
Eventually she corners me, painting the lotion on beneath my eye, only one eye as she's detected my skepticism, wants me to decide for myself...
I'm not that interested, but none of the other waiters are either and she's a good customer, by which I mean she tips well and she's a friend of the owners, and so I have a bad feeling that I'm going to be the fall guy for this.
"it's only $89.00 per year, or just thirty-one cents per day......replenishes your skin with essential oils of lavender and lemon, ..." she prattles on while she rubs it into my eye.
The other customers look on with amusement. I try to tell her she's barking up the wrong tree, but she won't hear it.
Her friend, the off again - on - again boyfriend, he watches, she marvels what a difference it's made, he agrees, he's inscrutable, I can't tell if he uses the stuff, he's Asian, how could you? Do Asians even get bags under their eyes?
Here's the market. A restaurant filled with overworked Italians with bags under their eyes.
The slippery slope of this of course is going to be hair color, eye liner, tweezers and waxing of the ears and balls, strange devices specifically designed to reach those orifices that seem to serve no other function but generating dreadlocks, probably even I'll have to start working a shower into my routine and buy some fancy smelling soaps...
The odd thing was, before she came along I'd been thinking about some deep seated life changes. Like giving up the Cocaine and Dexedrine, trying to get myself down to a half bottle of scotch a day, cutting back the cigarettes, adding fruits, nuts and vegetables to my diet, hell, while I was at it I might even try to exercise, go to the gym or for a run even.
But as she prattles on I think I've discovered the cure. It's male cosmetics.
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- Category: Miscellany
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