G***'s Stag
The text message inviting us out would have been a clue that this wasn't going to be the best organized event...and as it went on it became quite possibly the worse night out ever. And there's a lot of competition, let me tell you...
We start downtown, patio, after work, they've already had a few drinks. It's just F**** and G***, friends of G***, but they're already hammered. His old server friends are still working, promise to catch up with us after...
We move across the street, the Nephew joins us, they begin doing shots. Lots of shots, too many shots. It's a stupid-man-thing, this get uncontrollably drunk, but they feel entitled, none of them are going to be driving...
When you're sober and everyone around you is beyond hammered it's a pretty boring night out. I drove, my excuse not to drink, I could have walked but I didn't want to partake in this...wisely...
G***'s got a taste, he's looking for treats, wants me to order him some, I don't have the number, he brings it up again and again...
We move on to the Gay Bar, G***'s idea, thinks he can hook-up some shit there. No luck, they're getting ridiculously hammered, and now he's giving offense to everyone he meets, trying to pick a fight, the other G***, the nephew, F*****, keep intervening, and so he throws punches at us, hard punches, he's sorely trying the friendship, without a doubt the worst drunk I've seen in my life, and in a straight bar you could let him get away and find some justice, but here...
You don't want to be the asshole on his stag that connects or retaliates, you simply endure it, and the night grows long with enduring...
...outside, he's trying to pick fights with everyone, us included, the group can't keep together, always someone is going back to apologize for G***, break something up, a couple of Mexican homosexuals stop and throw bottles at him, he wants to go, wants to fight them, F***** intervenes, 5' tall F*****, gets punched, his glasses broken, there's only so much I can take, this is more than I should have to, anyone should have to...I give up, still sober, go home, abandon them all strung out on the street, the next day G*** is texting his apologies, he's the worst drunk in the world and that was the worst stag ever...
- Details
- Category: People
Super Grow Professional Laser Hair Restoration
Because...Lasers!
Found this at the thrift shop today, $20.00, retails for over 500$ US, couldn't just leave it. Had to buy it, if only to sell it on, for the opportunity to write copy for it, mischief abounds...The table and chairs are listed (sold 1 chair already..), the desk is listed, the sofa listed (for free, go to hell, sofa, you brown corduroy monstrosity!), this, on the other hand, will be fun...
Exactly as pictured, like new. A $549.00 US$ Product New. Buy it from me for a mere $220 or come over and bathe in it's unholy glow for a mere $20.00/hour.
Before using the Super Grow Laser
After using it for 3 months...
Clearly I didn't know when to stop using it...
(disclaimer: Individual results may vary)
- Details
- Category: Technology
Rainer Maria Rilke - Sonnets to Orpheus
Only he who has also raised
his lyre among shadows
may find his way back
to infinite praise.
Only he who has eaten with the dead
from their stores of poppy
will never again lose
the softest chord.
And though the pool’s reflection
often blurs before us:
Know the image.
Only in the double realm
do the voices become
eternal and mild.
- Rainer Maria Rilke, Sonnet IX, from Sonnets to Orpheus, trans. Edward Snow
Reading, finding it strangely affecting. It hardly needs my recommendation...
- Details
- Category: Books
Tipping the Doorman
Bored, the nephew persuaded me to go out, he wants to go out bad, this life in the burbs is wearing on him, he can't take it...I'm tired, can't be bothered to party, not tonight, notwithstanding the weather I have to dig some holes on my day off and don't want to be too wrecked before it starts...
Outside the club, having a cigarette, the doorman complaining to somebody in line that he doesn't get tipped. Alright then. I'll bite. I give him $50. Let's see what tipping the doorman does for one...I'm curious...he tells me he's straight, not to go expecting ...., no, no, I reassure him, I'm just curious, what do you get out of tipping the doorman? A red carpet? Expedited line-up? Reduced cover? Fairy tales are rife with the unexpected consequences of good deeds, we'll see...
- Details
- Category: Miscellany
Page 523 of 997