dreams...
My dreams, the past 6 weeks, anxiety laden, not a single good one. Just shit dreams. And so this one - yesterday, no surprise, no deviation, surprising in it's content but it wasn't really, I'd subconsciously absorbed Kurzgesagt's "What if we Nuke a City" video from my recommendations on YouTube, I hadn't even watched it, I knew it wouldn't end well, but it still ended up being the malign subject for my dream.
Which was as follows:
That I've somehow survived a Nuclear Attack upon my city, only I'm burned, deeply, I can feel the irradiation in my skin, and I know that I haven't got long left, a couple of days, max, but I move underground into this labyrinth of underground cities with others, also burned, and we find a new city...
...that ends up being nuked as well, and always we're finding new cities, and I can feel the radiation burning through my clothes, through my skin, and I know that soon it'll be peeling off me, peeling off everyone, we're all doomed to die and soon ...
That was it. Most of my nuclear war dreams end hopeful, this one did not, merely a succession of cities getting nuked and myself being increasingly irradiated.
And I didn't even watch the fucking video. All my dreams, these past 6 weeks, none worth writing down, all permeated with a vague, unsettling disquiet...
I need to go on a dopamine fast and quick. Monday. Monday expect no posts from me, I'll be fasting...
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- Category: Dreams
(since returning to the Kootenays I've had lots of strange dreams...)
I dreamed that a group of my friends (?? Who? I don't know...) had bought me a vintage sportscar, old, from the 50's, and I'm grateful for the gift but I don't want it, I don't need it, It will be too expensive to restore, and I'm at a farmers place - green farm with trees, somewhere north of Edmonton, the farmer, he's just dug up this car for me, it's been buried, 70 years almost, under 2 feet of soil, he's other vintage cars as well, all of them buried, under 2, 3, 4 feet of soil, and I'm expressing my dismay over the cost of restoration, how will I ever afford to get this working, running, and he's telling me that it's in great condition, almost started, just sputtering a bit, normal, given it's age...
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- Category: Dreams
**Strange dreams lately. A long spell of no dreams, then a few wild ones I forgot to write down. This one I did**
I'm going prospecting, Southern Alberta, not Southern Alberta, a dream landscape I've visited before. There's a valley, strewn with lava stones and gems, and I'm going to stop there first along the way...
Only as I get there there's a bridge, and over the bridge, towards me, flowing a viscous green mass of water, there's been a flood, no prospecting today...
I'm at home, a 3 story apartment in a small sunny neighborhood somewhere, wooden balcony, peach plaster building, external stairs up to the flat, 3 beds, I have roommates, ....
2 pretty girls, I don't know them but I work with them, they're friends, upstairs on the beds making themselves comfortable, they're going to be spending the night, their flat is under water, and I'm thinking this could get spicy...
Then more people - B****, hipster waiter from the D "n" D in the Kootenays, he's here, other friends I haven't met yet, don't know, know only that they're friends...
Outside, the light of the setting sun, I see the green water swirling down below, the flood has reached here, people are climbing the steps to higher ground, leaving their ground level flats, I see ****?, the wife of an old customer of the old restaurant, I've seen her husband around lately but have been avoiding him, wanted to avoid awkward artificial pleasantries, the balcony and apartment are filling up, there's a festive atmosphere...
I've walked around the balcony, lots of people up here watching the water, when all of a sudden it rises at once, 10, maybe 20 feet, and all the flats beneath me are flooded, I'm teasing B**** about living in his parents basement, he's going to have a mess to clean up for sure, when I realize - I live on the second floor, and everything I own is under water...
The water, as suddenly as it rose it's sinking now, and all I can think about is that everything I have is ruined, watches, everything, and I have no insurance...
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I'm checking into an old hotel, the walls are yellow, outside it's surrounded by green trees. There's a dim comfortable light at the front desk, they know me when I come in, "Yes, yes Mr. Boyle, we have a room for you"...
They know me in a creepy kind of way, I don't know them, it reminds me a bit of Jack Torrance being finally welcomed to the Overlook Hotel...
The desk clerk shows me to my room. The room, dingy, yellow walls, it'll do, when I spot on it, flickering just out of reach of the light from the bedside lamp - a butterfly, camouflaged, then opening it's wings to reveal a beautiful burst of color, I try to bring my phone close to it to take a picture, share with a friend, but it flies away...
The desk clerk is apologizing, they don't usually have bugs in their hotel, but I'm looking for it now, on the wall in the hallway, opening it's wings a beautiful blue-green that casts a stunning penumbra onto the wall and I have to get a picture of this...
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- Category: Dreams