He's come over from Italy to visit Canada, try things out, he's 24 years old, speaks no English.
Which is no problem, as everyone at the restaurant (bar myself) speaks Italian.
In Italy he was a painter/construction worker. He's good looking, very good natured, tall, charming, all the girls like him. His uncle sets to work getting him dates immediately. His family in Italy is very wealthy, he's a child of privilege, and his uncle, he's going to spoil him and show him the opportunity that exists in Canada.
We start him as a busboy. His job will be to get the customers water, bread, bring bruschetta, clean and reset tables.
He's pretty laid back, and we figure out pretty quick that he's not going to be the greatest star the restaurant has ever seen, but he's the bosses nephew and what do you say? The best we can do is adjust his tips to reflect his contribution, and even then we're erring grossly on the high side, we don't want to offend the boss.
He takes frequent breaks. Three 15 minute cigarette breaks an hour. Not quick cigarette breaks, choking back a quick half fag, but slow, drawn out breaks. The other 15 minutes of the hour he eats.
He's a classic case of "Paid by the hour union mentality". He has no sense of urgency, and in the midst of the busiest rush will find time to slip out the back of the restaurant and have a slow cigarette or another plate of pasta.
But he's very charming, and he regales us with the stories of his dates. He's getting quite a few. He can't speak a word of work related English, and requests to fetch bread, water - urgent - mimed with a gesture of a hand in the air filling a glass - and the words "Aqua - Agua" - only seem to fill him with confusion, he stands perplexed in the center of the restaurant for a minute or two before heading out for another cigarette.
In the morning he vacuums. And halfway through the vacuuming he takes the end of the vacuum and affixes the hose to the front of his trousers and stands there, waving his arms in the air while he pretends to receive oral sex. It's a funny joke and he repeats it daily.
He's learning English. Not the boring words that you might use in a restaurant, like "Bread", "Water", "Chair" or "Table" but "I want to fuck you" and "She has nice tits" and "Young girls, they are the best". In fact he probably knows more profanities than most sailors, all picked up in a few short weeks.
His dates, they don't speak Italian, still they seem to get on all right for a night or two. The next day he regales us with stories of his successes, exploits, he's not doing so badly. The boys, they don't believe his success, I've watched him however, heard his confessions of the less-than-ideal dates, I believe him. There was "Chelsea", who he took to Banff and who told him that she was "Married to God", a bad date if ever there was one. And he was busted making out with Chelsea when he parked under the balcony of his previous evening's mistress, who came out with her roommate and cheered him on. It was a shame, because she was a good date, and the sense of bringing a bad date to talk about God with under the window of a good date rather eludes me.
Staff meals: staff's turn to eat, he's already had 3 or 4 meals today and so passes, I crouch outside to quickly devour my food as there's still work yet to be done. He comes to visit, chats with me, farts loudly, belches, then expectorates on the pavement. I'm fast losing my appetite and stare at him, he looks a bit sheepish and continues.
"It's natural" he assures me.
***
He peruses all the flyers in the newspapers. He's amazed by the terrific low prices on commercial trash, iPhones, computers, sneakers, he reads the prices aloud, shows us the ad, we explain again the price, and he converts it for us into Euros and tells us how much it would cost back in Italy. He wants to buy a bunch - of it all, sneakers, XBox's, iPhone's, and ship them to his friends in Italy.
***
The Boss, he doesn't have much of a sense of humor. He likes the boy, what's not to like, but when I joke that the Euro has begun recovering ever since he came to visit, that Italy has started a collection to keep him in Canada, he's not so pleased...."Careful" he says under his breath...
***
The vacation, it's coming soon, and he's confided big plans to have a party at the Bosses house. Maybe a couple. And it would almost be worth hanging out in Calgary to see how this pans out...
***
You excuse it all, he's young after all, only 24, but I can't ever remember being that young. He's telling us about the new hostess, Gypsies Daughter, how he loves "Fresh Pussy" and he smells his fingers to explain to us, then argues that in Italy it's no problem to fuck girls 14 years old, it's normal.....
And I think, if he manages to fuck the gypsy hostess, even though she's 16 and he's 24 he will be by far the younger of the two. But like a lot of thoughts I hold them in, keep them to myself, I'm leaving in a few weeks and he's young and charming and most importantly he's the bosses' nephew.