They're both good, in their separate (and similar) ways - each knows by name half our regular customers. They schmooze them, appease them, somehow make them feel comfortable. They're each about 10 years older than me. Old, very old, by waiter standards, but I think that it pleases our customers to get better than Earl's
But they don't get along. We've separated them, different sides of the restaurant, still there's the minor, petty feuds.
They're not so quick, but it's good to work with different people.
They know what they're doing. Slow, but they don't have to be told.
But as they dicker and feud, about trivial things, like who's been waitering longer (and where, what restaurants, etc) - I can't help but imagine them working together.....
It's a bizarre tableau.
The one, Z, pushes the other, M, in a wheelchair. This is a first for a waiter, I imagine. They argue the whole way about who's been waitering longer.
When they come to the table they're silent. M holds up a card. It tells them that his name is M and he'll be their waiter this evening.
HE doesn't speak, because - truth be told - our customers don't want to be spoken to.
Instead, the cards he holds up indicate whether they're ready to order drinks, wine, food, etc.
Customers can sign (thumbs up, down, etc) according to the illustrations on the placard that M holds up.
They're not in the least bit curious as to why M doesn't speak, or why Z doesn't either, they're secretly glad to be able to not speak to their waiter.
Maybe, as M writes things down, Z can argue with him about whether he heard things right.
And when he wheels away, with their drink or food order, they can see/hear him feuding with Z about small and trivial things.
This would put us on the map. The wheelchair waiters.
I want to push one of them, push M, or Z...
They fight, feud, I don't hear of it but know because they can't work together, one always has to work with me, and I have this bizarre vision of them working together in some sort of waiter hell, the wheelchair waiters.....