About 4 months ago we started seeing a new face around the restaurant.
He's short, burly, maybe in his early 50's, ugly. And he meets with the owner and talks over things in hushed voices, apparently he has some cars to sell.
High end, luxury cars, things like Maserati and Ferrari, cars he bought at auction in Florida, confiscated from drug dealers, cars with 5 or 10 miles on them, brand new, at a fraction of what they would cost new.
Lots of cars. Yeah, he can get more.
He hushes his voice whenever he sees me, drops it to a whisper, furtively glances about with exaggerated secrecy, maybe the owner knows some other people that would like a car as well? ...
And oddly enough the owner does.
***
Now he keeps dropping around the restaurant, same shifty appearance, he's got the cars, they're coming. It's June. They'll be here soon, they're being shipped up from the US, he's sold quite a few through this restaurant alone. They're on a truck to the border, Coutts, Montana, then they'll come up to Calgary.
***
The owner's delighted, a chance to buy a car at a fraction of it's worth, a high end luxury sports car like many of our customers drive, he could afford, easily, to buy one new, but this is different, it's the thrill of the deal. Other customers have bought into this as well, they're impatiently waiting for delivery, the only condition seems to be cash up front but everyone's paid so now it's just a matter of time....
***
He reminds me, not so much himself but his bearing, the whole game, of a childhood acquaintance I had named Weedeater. But it's none of my business, and from the glances he shoots me as he's talking to the owner he doesn't think so much of me either...
***
There are delays. The cars are due by the end of June, latest the beginning of July, but there's nothing, "hold ups at the border" he tells the owner, "just a few more days..."
Staff talk about him. Apparently he used to be a cop. Lives in a big home in the North West of Calgary. He's retired, this is just a gig he does on the side.
And he's still popping by the restaurant for a free coffee, telling the owner ludicrous stories about the cars he's sold, about the people that didn't trust him and wanted their money back because he was a little late on delivery, they didn't understand the complications of getting things across the border, they can fuck themselves, he gave them their money back and when the cars got here he sold them at a profit....
He's being set up...
And I tell the owner about a friend I have that's selling the Roman Coliseum, apparently the Italian government is in trouble, they're raising money by selling off the cultural treasures, a couple of million euro's down and it could be his....he takes it in good humour, but we all know if the car doesn't show up soon the humour will vanish.
***
The nephew, he excuses the salesman, his shifty appearance, track suit, dirty clothes - "He's from Naples, what do you expect....?" and then follows it with a story about an uncle of his from Naples who sold the same bridge 7 or 8 times to tourists...
Things do not look good.
***
July progresses, the car doesn't show up. Crossed wires with the supplier, it's in Seattle, Spokane, Montreal, South of Winnipeg, the location changes....
And the owner begins to get suspicious. He has me google his name: "What is it?" I ask - "Franco" he tells me, "Or try Santo, or John...."
Things don't look good. The owner's in touch with a contact in the US, the person responsible for shipping the cars, a generic hotmail address, I search the IP, it comes up in New York, Africa, still the owner isn't worried, it's just miscommunication, the car will show up....
***
There's a mass of Italians, friends of the owner, in the back room. Car guys, all of them have brought back cars from the US, a week, maximum 2 they tell the owner, and the car should be here. Should have been here. It's an intervention of sorts.
***
Still Franco or Santo or John keeps coming around the restaurant. More elaborate back-stories on the cars he's sold, from cars belonging to drug lords named Julio who had houses seized with millions of dollars in cash wrapped up in the garage, irrelevant, elaborate details that no one needs when buying a car...It should be here, will definitely be here soon, there's still room on the truck if he knows anyone who wants to add to the order....Cash up front...
***
Customers ask about the car, it's been how long? 6 Weeks? Should be here any day? They want to see it. Not openly mocking, some, with that gallows humour, speculate upon where it might be, the owner laughs with them and then swears up a storm in the Kitchen.
***
More delays. We close in a week or so for vacation, not to worry, it will definitely be here by then, the owner goes back to Italy and wants to be sure, "no problem" says Franco, it will be here before he leaves.
And just before we leave for vacation word comes in that it's once again at the Coutt's border, will be coming up the next day, will arrive just after the owner gets on his plane to Italy, and so he makes plans for someone to receive it.
***
After the vacation we find out there were more complications. More delays, no, the car wasn't released by the border authorities. No, Franco can't seem to get a trucking or tracking number of any description. But it will be coming, soon,.
One of the the other customers who bought a car off of him is impatient, demands his money back, too many delays, and Franco writes him a cheque, guarantees that he should be able to cash it, it bounces. More excuses. But the cars are still coming....
***
The staff, they seem to believe the car is coming too. I'm a little surprised, but their belief is as much hope - the owner will be unlivable, his moods unbearable, if the car isn't here soon...
***
Mid September, and there's still no car. A friend called the owner to tell him that Franco was being investigated by the RCMP. And the owner has taken it upon himself to do some more research, the luxury home Franco lives in in the North West, it's a rental, and he's hired some Private Investigators to go to the US and try and track down the US contact with the hotmail address, they can't find him, they tell him that probably Franco was using that address to pretend to be the US contact himself, and the owner is quiet, the penny drops....
And more indiscreet customers enquiring about the car, has it shown up yet? Where is it?
And he explodes, his wrath in the kitchen unbearable for the cooks, dishwasher, the front of house staff, his frustration has reached it's limits.
And still there's no car and he's waiting.
***
Update: First thing this morning at work I'm shown the newspaper. It's in both, and I've provided links.
Calgary Sun & The Calgary Herald.
Still, they're hopeful, if not for the Cars at least to get a portion of their money back. Me, I'm still skeptical, wherever he is - IF he's still in the country, he will have hidden the money beyond any hope of recovery. And now his legend increases, he acquires a cleverness he never had by the unwillingness of his victims to believe they were duped, and the circus continues....